Look what the cat dragged in..
It’s been a while since i checked on this baby and mind you, it’s not because i had writer’s block, or that i lost a loved one, or that i switched jobs, it’s because I’ve been confused and cluttered in my own thoughts… I can guarantee you that these are the times I slip into a love-hate relationship with my mind.
The reason why i have been lost in my own thoughts is because I’ve been trying to come up with ideas on how to undo what i have done, or sensibly fix what I’ve broken. For the past two years, I have noticed that I’m addicted to drama and i enjoy messing up everything that is good because I get scared when things are too good so i destroy before life or someone beat me to it..
The dumbest thing about doing that is, you don’t really know if that thing was ever going to die out, or disappoint you and turn into a rotten apple. I forget I don’t see into the future, I only have the power to hope that all things will go well.
I did something early this year, and it was going good, but i feared that it would turn bad and i messed things up because i cared about that thing and now its gone and i’m trying to get it back without hurting other “things”.
See how confusing that last paragraph was, i’m more confused than that.
What i’m really saying is, THINK BEFORE YOU DO!!!! Don’t go out thinking grass is greener on the other side. It might not be.. Don’t leave without reason, don’t complain when things seem good, the good you have might have been the best you’ve got..